by Sahajananda Porslund

The third day of the tantric festival was guiding us even deeper inside. Through simple code of conduct, staying in silence, restraining from eating and an intense meditative program our being was purified and lead towards a continuous deepening of our inner world.

How do we find our way in life? In the morning lecture Mihai explained how we often use a different roadmap than the one which actually corresponds to where we are in our life. On any roadmap you have infinite possibilities of choosing your way. There is always a left or right turn to take and only in the moments where we reach a dead end not included in the map do we realise that we are using the wrong map.
We often believe that we are somewhere which we are not and for this reason we often take actions or decisions which are based on pure imagination or superstition, and which have nothing to do with reality and our real situation in life.
This day was the moment of truth for everybody in the camp. Silence and introspection prevailed and only sporadically could the sounds of whispering or the walking across the courtyard be heard. Everybody had the chance to relax deep inside and let go of all tensions and reactions, which often are created inside of us when we constantly interact with our surroundings.
Staying in such conditions somehow naturally give us the opportunity to align ourselves with the truth through a constant awareness on our inner reactions instead of, as we often choose, to project any problem or personal limitation on the outer reality. When the only feedback we receive is what our mind produces, it becomes more clear how all problems in fact derive from our own lack of awareness and honesty about who we are and what we are about.
Everybody received a questionnaire with questions helping and guiding us to go deeper inside and in complete honesty and transparency of our heart consider some fundamental conditions of life. Even though you are not here with us in the middle of this amazing process of tantric self enquiry I invite you here to consider some of these questions in connection with your own life situation. Remember that the answers are for your selves only. It is not to prove anything or create a certain image in the eyes of anybody else. And they are not meant to be answered in a formalised way, creating a certain explanation or correct answer. The questions are guidelines to penetrate deeper inside your selves and unveil all your habitual masks and self images, and slowly to get closer to the true and objective perception of yourself. This is often not even a mental process, but a process of reflection on another level, where the mind becomes still and thereby allows us to access both the deeper realms of the subconscious and the sublime serene intuitions of the superior consciousness. So sit down comfortably and let go of all other projects and worries before you throw yourself into this exercise. Good luck!       

Are you happy about your relationship with God? Can you do more for that relationship to get better?
Did you fulfill your goals in life until now? Are you happy with the way you are going for that?
What is the level of consciousness are you at now? Can you define it by describing few of its characteristics?
What is your very next goal to achieve in your spiritual practice? Are you doing enough for the moment to achieve it?
Are you happy with your job? Is it going in the direction you aspire in the deepest corner of your heart?
Is your love life satisfactory? Do you love enough so that you feel your heart fulfilled? If not, how much more do you need? How many times did you express your love in the last week in an exceptional way?
Look back at your life as it is the life of a friend. At first sight, what are the actions of that person (which is you) indicating? What are the real goals of that person if you would analyze those actions? Write down the result of this analysis and after that read it with detachment. Is that reflecting what you wanted in this life?
Would you be able to give your life for something? If yes, name clearly that thing that you would give your life for? Imagine with details a situation in which you give your life for that thing? Is the image vivid or pale? Do you believe that you would do such a sacrifice?
Do you feel appreciated at your real value by the people around you? If not, what is the most important misunderstanding regarding your person that most of the people are doing? Why do you think it is like that?
Do you appreciate correctly the people around you? Have you ever been wrong? When was the last time you told to somebody: “I was wrong, I am sorry.”?
If you were in the last minutes of your life now, what will be the last thing you would like to do? What is keeping you from not doing it right now?

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